The Light in the dark Tunnel

It has been a long time I visited this site. The last time i drafted my post was all about struggles in life which I decided not to post it. One thing I noticed was that everytime I will write one struggle another struggle will follow. Then I decided to stop and promise myself, the next time I will open and post in this blog it should be something light in the dark tunnel that I was in. A solution, a miracle or something encouraging and positive. Would you believe that it took me almost two years before I found that light. There were so many times that I really want to write my aches and my pain but as I promised myself to forget and don't dwell on it. I stick to my promise to write only positive ones. Do you believe that for the past two years, it was a constant struggles-- there were times that my husband lost the job again and again, kids were sick and need to be hospitalized, constant bank calls and visits to my workplace which gave me so much stressed, etc. Nothing positive except that we are together as one family. And you know, If a you cannot make ends meet and if the pressure continues, things can explode at home. The credit card problem where I was in is the most treatening experience. I know that Debt is simply the result of living beyond our means. Those times of spending habits are likely to lead to a spiral of debt. Spending more than what we earn by resorting to borrowing from others, using credit cards and frittering away savings, Taking out loans to buy goods and services that aren't necessary, using debt to repay debt etc... Until such time that I do not know what can I do to break out of the cycle of debt and get our finances back on track... Then I started to stop and listen to noise within myself, I surrender myself to God and i put all my trust in God's love especially in the lap of our blessed mother, giving everything back to Him. I said no one can help me now except my God. I need a miracle. So, I made a promised that I will not worry anymore. Then my constant prayers and faith brought me to life again, to see light in the dark tunnel.


During this journey, I went for a confession and asked the priest what is the best thing to do? I even asked him if we just leave the country at ones and start all over again--smiling, he said that is the easiest thing to do as if nothing happens and life must goes on. If am an ordinary person now, I will say to you, pack your things and leave before the police will catch you. Of course as a priest, I will not tell you that. He then said, did you do evething to sort things out? or what have you done to solve your problem? I was astounded with his question? yeh, what have I done? Nothing? then I said, I did pray hard...he said, prayer is not enough, you need to put action in your prayers as prayers without action is dead. HOw? He then said, maybe you sit down and list all your friends and their contact numbers, whether short or long acquintance as long as that friend knows you or your husband, or family friend..and tell them that you need help, tell the amount, tell them this much, tell them that you are in the brink of hell with that credit card problems. I then said but father, isn't it to much to ask from them and it is also embarrassing because it is credit card problem---then he said--thats it, it is too shameful, it is too embarassing and you will surely feel humilation--forget about your pride if you want to help yourself otherwise just wait that you will behind bars soon...God said work and I will bless your work. He will not come down and give the money infront to you and will say pay out your debts. Who knows among those people that you will tell, one of them wants to do charity and has nothing to do with his/her money. So, I left the confession booth with a heavy heart. Although, I still listened to him. Everyone that I met, I made a point that he/she would be aware that I needed help.



Then one day last October, a new acquintance, a new friend came across my way. We started to talk about how bad and good my day was, as simple as that, then, she became a friend to me and to the kids. I have told her about my worries and struggles, she became so supportive to me since then. Then one day, she asked me how much money I need to solve my bank pronlems? I was astaunded with her question---to make the story short she then granted me a loan and went to the bank and paid it off. The whole amount was paid and my police case has been released. Although the lending of money from her was done secretly and only 2 or 3 persons know about it. I want to shout it to everyone that God answered my prayers but I promised her not to tell anyone. I have cried so many times and said to God, LORD THIS IS TOO MUCH BLESSINGS!!! Although I still need to pay such big amount but at least no more police case and no more interest... I know it would be hard for the next years but at least I know it will come to an end. I have never stopped praying and He gave it to me...and I promised God to learn from my fault and never to go back to that dark tunnel again. From that struggles, for the year 2012, I note down some of my resolutions which I know it is not too late yet!!! 1) I should start budgeting – it is never too late; I will try to negotiate on our rent or maybe hire some borders; I should cut back on utility expenses, make less overseas calls and reduce your usage of electricity and water; I should be very watchful so I can eliminate unnecessary expenses, like entertainment and eating out; I hope I can cut down on transportation costs; I should learn from saving on big purchases; For appliances, instead of replacing, I will go for repairing; and I should always think it twice before buying anything so I can avoid an impulse buy. As I know that if I follow the above general rules, I am already half way there to avoid falling into the debt trap again, any mistake should be acknowledged right away and all situations should be tackled objectively and should be negotiated smartly. I should be aggressive as well, although, the rules of a country might be binding, but I know I can make my our own rules to keep my head above water. ASK, BELIEVE, and RECEIVE!!!

A silent night!

During this recession we're in, it's so easy to get caught up in the worry of day to day living. Everyone around me was losing their jobs, homes, etc. Of Course, including myself. But, I was determined not to let myself get caught up in the negative whirlwind. I have a strong faith that God will not leave us nor forsake but for whatever reason I got sidetracked and sometimes put the belief down.

I was asking God to bless me with the gift in believing... All you have to do is BELIEVE! All it takes is faith the size of a mustard seed.

POSITIVE THINKING: I grew up with this method of thinking. I do worry, but at the end of the day, I know things will always work out the way I want them to. Even when I find myself stressed about money, I have this unshakeable belief that every dime I need will always be there - and miraculously, it always is.

I was convincing my husband that he also needs to believe as a the way I used to believed. My husband paid attention too, and was dumbfounded with my "ability." I kept stressing that it wasn't an ability, it was simply a natural law, and that he could very well do it too.

Last year, he came to believe.

About 8 months ago, We shifted in to a very small partition. The space is not even enough for us to stretch our legs. It was a very small place for four people. Well, we have no choice as My husband was miserable in his job too.

For 8 months , we lived in that place. It was a secured place, but 23 people in one household? Guaranteed stress. My husband and I knew we had to get out, but with his new low-paying job and my teaching career just beginning, we didn't know how we could afford a room or villa.




I was also being very particular. I wanted to live in a specific place, filled with beautiful new homes, some big, some small. My husband entertained the idea of going back to our home country, but I resisted. I wanted to stay in this country wherein we experienced the fall, and I wouldn't take no for an answer.

!

Everytime I close my eyes, I usaully imagine a wonderful room where we can sleep comfortibly. I really made it to a point that I will not close my eyes visualising the spacious room where we can be shifted before the end of the year.




On one afternoon, a friend told me a vacant room in one of his villas- My husband and I agreed to see it. I realised that it is located in that same place I loved.It was a gorgeous little room, with a big yard, perfect for our small family. It was also being offered for 3,200 AED/per month and mind you this is less than the most inexpensive home in that place.

Still, the price was about 1600 AED more than what we could afford comfortably. We can only budget such amount for accomodation. No more no less--- My friend told me, "Bid what you can - what have you got to lose?" Talk to owner and lay your situation. We found ourselves talking to him and would you believe that he instantly agreed and even told us to find another couple to help shoulder the rental fee. For the meantime, I can pay half until I can find somebody to share with the rental fee.

Suddenly, we were in our new home.



Enjoying the Christmas Seasons...


We are so grateful for every wonderful thing that happens in our lives. I know that it's such a simple concept. Ask, believe, and receive. We live and breathe This Secret every day - we live in it, we drive it, we work out with it.

A room picnic! hehehe