It has been a long time I visited this site. The last time i drafted my post was all about struggles in life which I decided not to post it. One thing I noticed was that everytime I will write one struggle another struggle will follow. Then I decided to stop and promise myself, the next time I will open and post in this blog it should be something light in the dark tunnel that I was in. A solution, a miracle or something encouraging and positive. Would you believe that it took me almost two years before I found that light. There were so many times that I really want to write my aches and my pain but as I promised myself to forget and don't dwell on it. I stick to my promise to write only positive ones. Do you believe that for the past two years, it was a constant struggles-- there were times that my husband lost the job again and again, kids were sick and need to be hospitalized, constant bank calls and visits to my workplace which gave me so much stressed, etc. Nothing positive except that we are together as one family. And you know, If a you cannot make ends meet and if the pressure continues, things can explode at home. The credit card problem where I was in is the most treatening experience. I know that Debt is simply the result of living beyond our means. Those times of spending habits are likely to lead to a spiral of debt. Spending more than what we earn by resorting to borrowing from others, using credit cards and frittering away savings, Taking out loans to buy goods and services that aren't necessary, using debt to repay debt etc... Until such time that I do not know what can I do to break out of the cycle of debt and get our finances back on track... Then I started to stop and listen to noise within myself, I surrender myself to God and i put all my trust in God's love especially in the lap of our blessed mother, giving everything back to Him. I said no one can help me now except my God. I need a miracle. So, I made a promised that I will not worry anymore. Then my constant prayers and faith brought me to life again, to see light in the dark tunnel.
During this journey, I went for a confession and asked the priest what is the best thing to do? I even asked him if we just leave the country at ones and start all over again--smiling, he said that is the easiest thing to do as if nothing happens and life must goes on. If am an ordinary person now, I will say to you, pack your things and leave before the police will catch you. Of course as a priest, I will not tell you that. He then said, did you do evething to sort things out? or what have you done to solve your problem? I was astounded with his question? yeh, what have I done? Nothing? then I said, I did pray hard...he said, prayer is not enough, you need to put action in your prayers as prayers without action is dead. HOw? He then said, maybe you sit down and list all your friends and their contact numbers, whether short or long acquintance as long as that friend knows you or your husband, or family friend..and tell them that you need help, tell the amount, tell them this much, tell them that you are in the brink of hell with that credit card problems. I then said but father, isn't it to much to ask from them and it is also embarrassing because it is credit card problem---then he said--thats it, it is too shameful, it is too embarassing and you will surely feel humilation--forget about your pride if you want to help yourself otherwise just wait that you will behind bars soon...God said work and I will bless your work. He will not come down and give the money infront to you and will say pay out your debts. Who knows among those people that you will tell, one of them wants to do charity and has nothing to do with his/her money. So, I left the confession booth with a heavy heart. Although, I still listened to him. Everyone that I met, I made a point that he/she would be aware that I needed help.
Then one day last October, a new acquintance, a new friend came across my way. We started to talk about how bad and good my day was, as simple as that, then, she became a friend to me and to the kids. I have told her about my worries and struggles, she became so supportive to me since then. Then one day, she asked me how much money I need to solve my bank pronlems? I was astaunded with her question---to make the story short she then granted me a loan and went to the bank and paid it off. The whole amount was paid and my police case has been released. Although the lending of money from her was done secretly and only 2 or 3 persons know about it. I want to shout it to everyone that God answered my prayers but I promised her not to tell anyone. I have cried so many times and said to God, LORD THIS IS TOO MUCH BLESSINGS!!! Although I still need to pay such big amount but at least no more police case and no more interest... I know it would be hard for the next years but at least I know it will come to an end. I have never stopped praying and He gave it to me...and I promised God to learn from my fault and never to go back to that dark tunnel again. From that struggles, for the year 2012, I note down some of my resolutions which I know it is not too late yet!!! 1) I should start budgeting – it is never too late; I will try to negotiate on our rent or maybe hire some borders; I should cut back on utility expenses, make less overseas calls and reduce your usage of electricity and water; I should be very watchful so I can eliminate unnecessary expenses, like entertainment and eating out; I hope I can cut down on transportation costs; I should learn from saving on big purchases; For appliances, instead of replacing, I will go for repairing; and I should always think it twice before buying anything so I can avoid an impulse buy. As I know that if I follow the above general rules, I am already half way there to avoid falling into the debt trap again, any mistake should be acknowledged right away and all situations should be tackled objectively and should be negotiated smartly. I should be aggressive as well, although, the rules of a country might be binding, but I know I can make my our own rules to keep my head above water. ASK, BELIEVE, and RECEIVE!!!
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